I’ve discovered that I don’t need to respond to Mum’s frequent phone calls one by one, or immediately. Of course I’m right there if something is urgent, but most of the time she’s just checking in with me, or needs reassurance that she hasn’t forgotten to do something. Sometimes, she can’t recall what we have agreed or where a particular piece of information is “hiding” in her flat. Invariably, she sorts it out herself, given time to calmly think things through. As a result, she has more confidence the next time and has a sense of having achieved something on her own.  Its a balance, but I know she would love to feel empowered and still firmly independent, even if she is relieved I’m always closeby.  The temptation is to take over and take responsibility for every decision, but that isn’t good for either of us.  It’s an ongoing challenge to get the balance right, but I’m getting there.

By the way, I decided to have a “hats and best bib and tucker” garden party in our back garden for my 50th, I don’t usually dress like this to go to Tesco.

Carer, tips for caring
Me and Mum raising a glass on the occasion of my 50th birthday in 2013
Putting Caring Energy in the Right Place
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